Love And The Source Of Anger

There are those who discover they can leave behind destructive reactions and become patient as the earth, unmoved by fires of anger or fear, unshaken as a pillar, unperturbed as a clear and quiet pool.
— Gautama Buddha


All anger is rooted in fear. There are only five root sources of this fear:
•  The fear that I let you down or I am letting you down, which fosters feelings of guilt that must be denied.
•  The fear that you let me down or you are letting me down, creating feelings of abandonment or disappointment, which lead to feelings of unworthiness and woundedness.
•  The fear of humiliation through inappropriate actions, which prompts one person to deny the action or shift the focus and blame to another person.
• The fear that results from utter frustration, which creates a feeling of helplessness and a lack of control. Anger replaces a call for help.
• The final source of anger is rooted in ignorance that leads to fear. Whatever one does not understand makes one’s ego feel insecure and frightened; therefore, one must fear.

We witness the display of anger in four forms:
• The yeller and screamer (like Lauren and Ray) who gets in your face and totally loses their composure.
• The person who makes snide remarks in a passive-aggressive manner and makes their feelings known but avoids addressing the situation directly, leaving that up to you.
•  The needler who disapprovingly picks, picks, picks relentlessly. This person never addresses you personally, which causes feelings of resentment because it leaves you clueless about the base problem.
•  The run-away who can’t face you at all. This person avoids you or shuns you; the run-away will never address you and will leave you unaware about why, or even if, they are upset.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
— Proverbs 15:1 (ESV)

Many people will employ more than one of these techniques, depending on the situation, the level of animosity, and the particular individual with whom they are upset or feel hurt by. Yes, anger can hurt the recipient. More importantly, there is an even greater amount of harm and self-inflicted pain for the person who carries or emits anger toward others. It is toxic to their soul.

Whether the feeling of anger is rising up in you or is being directed at you, you can now control it. Realizing the source of anger gives you the ability to have strength through understanding, compassion, and patience in the face of anger. Recognize that there are only two true emotions: love and fear. Yes, fear, not hate—hate, like anger, is a byproduct of fear.

You can now identify the various expressions of anger. This gives you the ability to recognize it in all of its true forms. You are now provided with the tools to avoid the trappings and pitfalls of anger. You no longer need to lower yourself to its level. Instead, you can rise above it because you possess the power to respond with purpose and truth.

People may ask, “Why should I have to be the bigger person? Why should I have to rise above it?” The answer is simple: because you are not doing this for the other person; you are doing this wholly for yourself. You are doing it to improve your life, increase your enjoyment, and ensure that happiness and harmony are yours. If it has a similar effect on the other individual, wonderful—call it a bonus. This is an act that genuinely comprises the five tenants—love, kindness, patience, truth, and compassion. Make no mistake about it—the shedding of anger in your life is one of the most wondrous gifts you can give yourself.

A Shortened Excerpt from:
The Journey of Truth:
Chronicles of a Peaceful Warrior
by Tony R. Zonca

tonyrzonca@ptd.net
https://twitter.com/Tony_R_Zonca
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The Truth and the Ego

The simple truth is—the ego is the devil. The ego is the darkness in our life and in the world. The ego will take us over. It is worth repeating, verifying, it is that important. Biblically, the ego is the devil. When left unchecked, the ego will run wild. Its goal is to become stronger than you are. It wants to prevent us from being spiritually connected. The ego’s greatest fear, is not to be in control, therefor becoming irrelevant—death to the ego. Thus it will do everything in its power to remain in the forefront. To be the dominant voice. Its desire is to direct us, for it fears the alternative, which is to be directed by the Divine within you. Your God force. The ego is the counter point to the higher self.

The Bible says that the devil (in the form of a serpent) entered the garden to tempt Eve. He convinced Eve to question God’s word. The devil lied, telling her that God didn’t want Eve to
become enlightened if she ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge. This is the devil’s temptation to us today—that he or she, all of us, don’t need God.

The devil was cunning. Eve subdued to the temptation and took the fruit from the forbidden tree. As it was delicious she shared it with Adam. Adam in turn ate from the fruit. At that moment their lives, and that of all humanity would forever be changed.

The Bible offers us timeless spiritual knowledge. However, we are no longer the harsh and barbaric people who lived in the times of the Old Testament. Their truths now require a new and enlightened perspective. The story of Adam and Eve is an excellent narrative to explain the power and craftiness of the ego. In every instance, when replacing the words Satan and devil with the word ego, the narrative becomes logical, sensible and most important poignant. Now review the same passage with this simple adjustment.
The ego entered the garden to tempt Eve. It convinced Eve to question God’s word. The ego lied, telling her that God didn’t want Eve to become enlightened, if she ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge. This is the ego’s temptation to us today; that it and we do not need God.

The ego was cunning. Eve subdued to the ego’s temptation and took the fruit from the forbidden tree. As it was delicious she shared it with Adam. Adam in turn ate from the fruit. At that moment their lives, and that of all humanity would forever be changed. Their innocence was lost . . . the ego truly is the devil.

The foundation of the Buddha’s teachings lies in compassion,
and the reason for practicing the teachings is to wipe out
the persistence of ego, the number-one enemy . . .
— Dalai Lama

In time, you may even develop a feeling of empathy for the ego. It can’t help itself. It is, at its root, insecure and scared of not being needed or relevant. It may be easier to look at it from the viewpoint of putting the ego in check, helping it to learn that its existence is merely as a silent partner. It will in time learn its role as the silent protector of your physical well-being, providing a limited role in keeping you safe. And that is where the line must be drawn. There is no influence in tending to your emotional well-being. For that is where it will look to blossom and overstep its’ bounds, allowing it to become content in its greatly diminished role. Once in check, you must be forever vigilant to keep it from having a voice, not permitting any influence on your day-to-day actions and interactions with everyone around you. For if you give the devil an inch—it will take a mile.

Excerpt form:
The Journey of Truth:
Chronicles of a Peaceful Warrior
by Tony R. Zonca

http://www.tonyrzonca.com
tonyrzonca@ptd.net
https://twitter.com/Tony_R_Zonca
https://www.instagram.com/tonyrzonca/
https://www.facebook.com/TonyRZoncaAuthor